The Schnug Life

Will Schnuggie go to Heaven?

Will Schnuggie go to Hell?

Will he be a good boy all his life and turn mean towards the end or will he be mischievous until he meets his maker and turn a corner just in time?

Will he make it to heaven only to blow it 5 minutes therein? He will get angry if he doesn’t get his yum yums!

Will he pee on the pearly gates?

Will even the devil be excited to pet him?

Existential Schnuggie

Or you can look at the story like this, Once upon a time, there was a little dog named Schnuggie. Schnuggie was an adorable Pomeranian. He went to heaven but they didn’t have his yum yums and this made him very mad. So in rebellion he peed on the pearly gates. Nietzsche and Mark Twain thought that was hilarious. The angels not so much because they had to clean it up. Have you no reverence sir?? So Schnuggie then went to hell and even the devil thought that he was absolutely adorable. Now Schnuggie decided to be a good boy and was a model dog and as a result got to go back to heaven where Jesus gave him his yum yum treats. But out of habit, he peed on the pearly gates again and the cycle continued.