The Schnug Life

All dogs go to heaven. I mean, God and Dog don’t just happen to have the same letters for no reason.

There is a purpose there. Divine providence.

He is mischievous but he is not evil. He likes to steal my socks and he runs away from me whenever he has something in his mouth but other than that, he is a good dog.

My personal theory, you have to be Mother Theresa just to be on a basic dog level. That’s right, are dogs better than people? Yes, yes they are. Way better too. Not just a little either, but by leaps and bounds.

A dog looks at you and says: you feed me, you take care of me, you pet me, you love me, you must be God.

A cat looks at you and says: you feed me, you take care of me, you pet me, you love me, I must be God.

Now there are cat people who think that a cat’s love is worth more because you have to earn it. These tend to be people who let their cats scratch them and bite them too. Not all cat people are like this. But to those cat people who are pretentious against dogs and say things like: a dog’s love doesn’t matter because they just give it away freely, and they love unconditionally so you know, it’s worth less. They are just codependent sub creatures who just love no matter what. To them I say…

They reveal to you your own lacking in comfort in vulnerability. Could it be that you are the codependent who wishes their animal to require you to prove yourself and worship it? Do you not like dogs because you like to be the dog in the relationship? (Drop the Mic)

Wouldn’t it be something if dogs were actually witnesses for us on our behalf in heaven? Like what if it could advocate for you or prosecute you?

I would love to love God like Schnuggie loves me. I would love to worship like a dog. They are the ultimate servant leaders. If the light is in every man, then the sun is in every dog. How could something that loves, not have a soul? I can understand if I don’t get to heaven, I’m a neurotic cowardly human. But damn zem all if Schnuggie does not go. I will protest, it wouldn’t be heaven without the doggies. It would be too awful, too much false advertising. I watched the movies! Lol